Love in its unexamined form frequently expresses itself as possession. The desire to be close to someone collapses into a need for them to behave in ways that relieve your anxiety. When the love has not been looked at honestly, the need masquerades as care. The person who loves consciously has examined what they are actually seeking and distinguished between genuine connection and the management of their own discomfort. The difference between love and dependency is the willingness to do that examination.